Dear Mum,

Dear you.. dear everyone,

How are you feeling? More importantly, how is your heart doing? As this turbulent year comes to an end, you may be feeling some type of way.

I know you might be feeling upset about cancelled travel plans, your twice rescheduled wedding, possibly being away from family for a lot longer than you expected, or not being able to accomplish half the things you aimed for once the clock hit midnight on January 1, 2020.

It has undoubtedly been a tough year, and it is okay if you feel a mix of emotions, or if you’re harbouring upset feelings that have proven to be difficult to navigate. While listening to a friend express her thoughts on this year, she said something that really resonated with me. “Maybe it’s okay for things not to work out, and maybe it’s even okay to have years that simply aren’t great,” she said.

Read more: Dear Mum: Relax, your ‘best’ is enough this pandemic

Rather than attempting to change your perspective on what has clearly become nothing more than a meme-filled year, perhaps it’s more important to simply accept that it was undeniably intense. From an unexpected pandemic to a lockdown that changed the world’s routine overnight, it is likely that it has been tough for us all. I want you to remember that your best is valuable. I also want to remind you that it is okay for you to not have fallen in love with this year.

If you feel like 2020 is almost over and you have yet to achieve the majority of your goals, then it is absolutely okay to feel upset.

It is okay for you to cry as much as is required to grieve the fact that your engagement party was cancelled after spending months searching for the perfect venue. It is also okay to feel disappointed if you had to give birth alone, or your family had to abruptly cancel travel plans to come help you after the birth of your baby.

“Perhaps your rainbow has been long overdue, but – I assure you – once it comes your way, it will very likely be the most beautiful rainbow you have ever seen.”

It’s also understandable if you feel uninspired and lack drive because your anxiety has skyrocketed or your depression has become harder to handle throughout this pandemic. If you never heard back from that job you had your heart set on, it is okay to mourn what you thought was going to be an amazing opportunity.

Simply put, it is absolutely okay to go through these deep feelings and there is no need to attempt to change the way you feel. Remember that you feel this way for a reason, and maybe it is more important to recognise that there are some emotions that are not meant to be changed. It is vital for these emotions to be accepted. There will come certain years that you want to pass and if you feel like don’t want to look back on them later, then you really don’t have to.

Read more: Dear Mum: You are not selfish for wanting more

It is absolutely acceptable to feel like this year has not panned out as you would have liked, but you know something? After every rainfall must come a rainbow. Perhaps your rainbow has been long overdue, but – I assure you – once it comes your way, it will very likely be the most beautiful rainbow you have ever seen.

May you accept the vibrant feelings of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet when they come your way. But for now, you’re doing amazing just by getting through the rainstorm and thunder.

Dear you, I hope you recognise you deserve all the colours of the rainbow.

Kind Regards,
Chereen

Chereen Shurafa is a Doha based community counsellor, writer, and certified change coach. She is the founder of “Dear Chereen”, an online platform dedicated to mindfulness, mental health, and inspiration.

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