In Qatar, men outnumber women 3:1, and the population is comprised of people hailing from many different religions, cultures and classes. Meanwhile, the country is governed by conservative Islamic principles. This week, we are exploring how men and women interact with each other in this unique environment in a four-part series, titled “Gender Imbalance.”
Inconsistent rules on whether couples staying at Doha’s hotels are required to produce proof of marriage have apparently been causing embarrassment and inconvenience for some potential guests here.
In Qatar, it is illegal for unmarried men and women to live together or share a hotel room because of the Islamic prohibition of sex outside of marriage. But inquiries at a cross section of Doha’s hotels suggest that this law is unevenly applied.
Of the 10 establishments contacted by Doha News, which include a mix of three, four and five-star hotels, only three – Liberty Suites, Ezdan Hotel and Suites and Century Hotel – said they required proof of marriage for guests of all nationalities.
Staff at the remaining seven – the W Doha, the Four Seasons, The Torch, K108, the Radisson Blu, the Kempinski and the Kingsgate Hotel – said that they only ask Qataris to prove that they are married before allowing them to share a room with a member of the opposite gender.
When it comes to enforcement, there appears to be a correlation with price and star rating. None of the five-star hotels contacted required proof of marriage from non-Qatari guests, whereas the three that did all had-lower star ratings.
No proof
Inconsistent enforcement recently flummoxed June (not her real name), an American woman who was not permitted to enter her husband’s home in Doha. The woman apparently flew to Doha from the US to visit him at Ezdan Hotel and Suites, unaware that she needed to bring her marriage certificate with her.
In an email to Doha News, she describes the situation, which she said made her feel “disrespected” and “like a prostitute.”
“I got (to Ezdan) after a long flight from New York, and they rejected me at the door. They called their night security manager, and he rudely told me that unless I am family I cannot proceed. I told him my husband and I do not share the same last name because he is Muslim and I am Christian. Nor do we commonly carry around a marriage certificate.”
June called her husband, who was driving home from work. She waited for him outside the hotel, watched by Ezdan security. She said that she met another woman outside who had also been turned away at the door:
“I begin walking around the towers to avoid feeling like a prostitute while waiting. I found a woman also standing on the side of the road. She said she was trying to visit a co-worker of hers to complete a task for work the next day, laptop in hand. She said her co-worker was also unaware of a no-female rule in the hotel.”
June’s husband arrived, picked her up and tried to drive through the parking lot to enter the building, but was also stopped by security and asked to prove his married status. The couple were forced to seek alternative accommodation in the city, at their own cost.
When asked to clarify their policy, an Ezdan spokesman told Doha News that only Qataris and “other Arabs” are required to produce a marriage certificate at the hotel. All other nationalities can simply register their guest on the hotel’s system to gain access, they said.
However, an employee at the hotel’s reception desk said that although the hotel had “stricter rules for Arab guests,” it was advisable for guests of all nationalities to bring their marriage certificate with them if they wished to share a room with a member of the opposite sex.
June said cohabitation policies should be made clear from the beginning:
“In a hotel that has a mixed gym, mixed pool facilities, why are female visitors not allowed? It is nowhere written or told at the hotel. I understand respecting the Islamic rules but the rude treatment and the harassment is too far.”
Ezdan Hotel and Suites has said that its head of security would contact Doha News to explain the hotel’s full policy. We will update the story with any new information when we receive it.
Have you been affected by cohabitation rules? Thoughts?
In the majority world, existing in the 21st century, people can check into hotels free of this kind of medieval scrutiny about who they may or may not be sleeping with. Their societies have not imploded. Qatar has many, many more things to worry about than who is spending a night in a hotel room. You’d think it was the first step on the road to social armageddon. Is it a result of the petty demands of dogmatic faith, or is it a futile attempt to stop the trend for using hotels for affairs?
It also makes quite an offensive statement, that a man and a woman cannot stay in the same house or hotel room together without feeling the urge that they have to rut like dogs. I lived with lots of women as a university student and was able to be around them without having sex every minute of the day.
Perhaps more of an indicator of the moral compass of those making the rules, than the willpower of those who follow the rules?
“Rut like Dogs” That is my saying of the day!
I know thats one thing I never understood about Arab culture, why is EVERYTHING about sex! I mean I can’t even cuddle my Mum in public when she arrives at the airport. I mean how is that in any way sexual or offensive?
I will repeat;
“Perhaps more of an indicator of the moral compass of those making the rules, than the willpower of those who follow the rules?”
It’s not just Arab culture, but the overall middle eastern culture and that of the followers of the 3 Abrahamic faiths. But seriously, you couldn’t kiss your mum in public? Reminds of when I was in the U.S. and tried to hug my uncle at the airport; he felt very uncomfortable about it becasue such public displays of affection between males are frowned upon by people in the U.S., or so he believed 😉
Yes I agree with you it seems to be the middle eastern culture, although to be fair you will prob know a’lot more than me!
Well when my Mum first came to visit I naively gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek out of habit in the airport. And was quickly descended on by 3 security guards and evil eyes galore from the general public :-0
Exactly as your uncle believed, just spend a small amount of time in the arrivals hall of any western airport and observe the hugs & kisses galore! It just seems very strange to me that you can’t express your love for someone in a completely innocent and non-sexual way in public.
A total misconception. And untrue.
A complete misconception I would imagine. Americans are in to hugging big time!
you clearly have a misconception… we can hold hands with our wives/husband in public hug our parents (kiss them too really) its just the girlfriend/boyfriend part thats unacceptable because come on do you just cuddle your significant other??
Thankyou for your reply!
But this is the bit I don’t understand!
You say you can cuddle or hold hands with your wife/husband/mother etc then why not your girlfriend/boyfriend or friend of the opposite sex?
Im pretty sure Wives and Husbands do more than cuddle! Although some might disagree 🙂
And how in public do you people know the difference?
Also if its just a cuddle and not a full on sexual display then whats the problem, this is what has always puzzled me!
But admit this is cultural and probably coz of background!
I’ll tell you some of the reasons:
a) because you cant touch the opposite gender in that way (because its too close) and cannot engage in sexual activity in the country unless the significant other and yourself are legally married.
b) yes they are married its legal and religiously acceptable.
c) we dont but usually its evident especially with pda couples…
d) because thats how people start their sexual activity… starts with holding hands then hugs then kisses then then then… no?
yes it is somewhat cultural more so religious.
Thanks again for trying to explain it to me!
But I still don’t really get it
Basically I can understand that passionately kissing someone in public is obviously going to be unacceptable in this region. And that is perfectly understandable….
But your explanation brings me back to my original point why is everything about sex?
People are perfectly capable of giving each other a hug and a innocent kiss on the cheek without it leading to full on sex!
If I can kiss my Mum and give her a cuddle, then why not a female friend? I conservatively estimate I’ve probably hugged and given a completely innocent kiss on the cheek to around a 1000 girls in my lifetime without wanting to/ or having sex with them!
If people want to have sex then stopping people from holding hands in public is in no way going to stop them! Or discourage it….
I dont know whether your looking at the idea with a closed mind or because you are too liberal… I cant really reply with anything that will make you see the bigger picture.. as long as you respect the rules its fine… do what you want in the end but not in our community.
Thank you.
Ha, closed mind! You couldnt make this up
“why is everything about sex” Paranoia? The problem with this question is that, every answer I could give will raise some 3-5 more questions, and it’ll just go on from there.
Maybe a good way for you to start is to look back at how it used to be 50-100-200 years ago in the U.S. and U.K. Try to look the history of swim suit for both men and women; why is it perfectly fine to wear tiny 2 piece bikinis today, while about 100 years ago even showing your arms (for women at least) could get you arrested.
Sorry, wish I could give a better answer, but this is topic best left for you can sit face to face with someone 🙂
That is the main point really. We need to put on our 1700’s goggles and then it all makes sense again.
If it were as simple as just saying it, we wouldn’t have problems in the world 😉
I don’t know about 1700s. I have a pair of 1434 glasses
Are you basically saying things will change, given time?
I greet my friends wives and also single female friends with a kiss on the cheek and a small hug and see nothing sexual, provocative or indecent about it. When I first arrived I was shocked at the nose rubbing thing between men but accepted it as the natural custom and way males greet here between people of the same culture. I agree, everything seems to be put down to sex. Sorry to shock people but in Western Society we can keep our pants fully secure whilst in the company of women. The complaints I here from a lot of women is that it is the arabic males who appear to have an obsession with sex. Maybe it is because they are denied through custom or religion from being allowed to mix with females in a way that their Western counterparts do? Just a thought
But you had just said we COULD hold hands and I know from experience every time I hold hands I need sex right then. lol. All that pent up emotions is dangerous.
its not rocket science if she is your wife/sister/daughter/mother/grandmother it is acceptable GIRLFRIEND NOOO NEIN KEIN NE.. (im not shouting wala just to make it more clear incase you cant read :P)
hum, what about cousins??? you haven’t explained cousins……
if I don’t greet my Spanish people with a kiss on the cheek when I am introduced to someone new I would be considered snobbish and distant person, basically if I don’t do it, they would look at me not in a nice way….and this is when you’re introduced…..so it ‘s the same when you guys rob each other nose, for us is the cheek….not because this might lead to sex!
ya sure do it in spain.. not here.
if a kiss on a cheek is haram for you, you gotta some problem with your bad thinking! I think people like you are the ones who do excatly the opposite of what they preach.
Hmmm, generally I find sexual activity starts with a haggle over price and then an exchange of currency, but perhaps I’m doing something wrong?
Obviously, we draw a line whereas other do not (or do not know how to deal with it). Giving your friend a kiss at the airport seems to have a whole different meaning than kissing your mum, I guess.
Might cause a few problems when the fans start turning up for the WC in 2022!!
They’ll relax the rules for the duration of the event.
Whaaaaat, surely society and public order in Qatar will collapse into the ground under the weight of all that pre marital sex going on?
And some gay at that. Oh the horror
What “society and public order” :p
Or a new business opportunity for document forgers?
“only Qataris and “other Arabs” are required to produce a marriage certificate at the hotel” See, there are some privileges non-Arab expats (especially if they’re White) have which Qataris don’t. I think that’s a cause for celebration 😀
Arabs are always getting racially profiled! It happens at airports, and now at hotels. Where next?
And I guess you don’t understand the airport being…suspicious?
Made me laugh. Qatari men rent their own special apartments for night time engagements… They don’t use the hotels… Too public
Indeed — I used to live next to one local man’s ‘party flat’ and the number of ‘sharmootas’ going in and out there made my head spin!
Do as I say, not as I do
ahahaha!!!!!!
True, but it’s the principle that matters here! Do you have no principles? :p
or they go to the desert where they get the Qatari girls……
you mean yemeni, and iraqi girls 🙂 if theres a will theres a way.. so whoever wants to do these bad things they’ll find a way and we try to prevent it from happening… in the past couple of years the scenario that you’re talking about dropped significantly because of the baladiya patrolling most of those areas. just because these things happen doesnt mean we are ok with it… we try to stop it.
Yes I also enjoy nothing more than stopping people’s fun and interfering in their business. It makes me feel a real big man
thats not the point… stopping peoples fun really?! that shows how you degrade being in a relationship just for fun… and then you call muslims low… you just reached a new level of low.. we respect our woman to be more than just fun.. and its not interfering in their buisness if its the law.. no one is above the law dont you westerns say that?? and that shows how you’re a “real big man”. save yourself by practicing something that dosent degrade women or talk about them as a form of entertainment will ya?
First I have never called Muslims low, and also most Muslim countries allow you to hold hands and hug in public and share a unmarried hotel room, so this in not a Muslim issue.
Secondly, it’s not just about Muslim women. It is about foreigners coming to your country to stay in a hotel, and Qatar foisting its medieval, antiquated and frankly ridiculous laws on other people, whilst having bars in Doha full of prostitutes being used by Qatari men as a form of entertainment. How does that tie in with your respect of women?
You also seem to imply that having sex is only enjoyable for the man, another antiquated thought. And as for being in a relationship just for fun, what are you in one for, misery?
If you don’t like sex, don’t have it, 99% of the rest of the world realised 50 years ago that people shouldn’t interfere in other people’s personal lives, and your views just exhibit your infantile behaviour towards the most natural of human functions.
ya and look what happened to the world… std’s, aids, herpes you name it is everywhere now..
now you are confusing sex and unprotected sex. All of the above can be stopped with a condom. Are you claiming that the laws are there as a public health initiative?
We also have cancer – should we ban cars and burnt meat?
You may respect ‘your women’ but from what I have seen western and asian women are fair game and given little or no respect!
nope according to my Qatari source! Some young girls are local. That’s why some Qataris have change location where they put their tents, because they don’t like to get close to those brothel….
its good you are airing this again…… Qatar need to review its policies generally.
I find it ridiculous that a couple must produce a marriage license to share a hotel room. In many countries around the world people don’t feel like they have to get married but stay together and raise a family. IMO they are being very prejudice to other cultures. How can we respect the Islamic culture if they can’t respect others?
All over the world when people travel they are expected to abide by the laws of the country they are visiting. Just because a person may not agree with the law does not give them the right to break the law.
In all honesty, this woman’s husband since he is obviously living in Doha should have known that there is a possibility she would be asked to show her marriage certificate.
yes, but what I’m saying is what about those who are not married? are they expected to wed just so they can go on holidays? even if it is against their own belief system (what ever that may be) tolerance must come from both sides
No they are not expected to wed. They could a) go to countries which have no problem with them shacking up, or b) get two hotel rooms.
Aaaaah, maybe those tourism adverts with the PSG players should be more specfic;
“Qatar Tourism Partners in Dreams (married, hetrosexual dreams)”
With this policy it seems they’re actively discriminating against hetro couples in favour of homo ones. So, which one is worse, Qatar Ministry of Meddling in People’s Private Lives, a bit of extra-marital coitus, or some same sex nookie? I think we should know.
ha, i didnt think of it that way. I cannot stay in a hotel with my girlfriend, but two moustachioed ,buff “best” friends can share a room and play hide the salami all night to their hearts content.
oh my mistake, I forgot that the gayness test will have caught them at the airport.
there are couple de facto that are not married but they have been together for decades and….?
Why was she not allowed to stay at the home of her husband if they are indeed married?
Not alarming at all, you’ll just have to pay more from now on. “When it comes to enforcement, there appears to be a correlation with price and star rating.” For some time now, haram activities were allowed at the top hotels only. Now, we have an announcement explaining the rules for wine-dine-69.
Clearly the rules (laws?) only apply to those of a certain socio-economic and racial background. If you can afford to stay in a 4 or 5 star hotel, and if you’re white, then anything goes.
Also if you are Muslim you can have all three of your wives in a hotel room engaging in a Mongolian Clusterf$@k, just as long as you have a marriage certificate!!!!!
I almost snorted tea out of my nose, reading this — thanks for the laugh!
I aim to please 🙂
you disgust me…all in one room? Never…three adjoining suites maybe and some sneaky corridor-creeping for the husband.
A bit like a Carry on Film? Or an episode of Terry and June? Eeeks the Vicar is coming to tea
wow you clearly have a bad idea of this… just to be clear its haram.
What is? Sex, three wives, being married or hotel rooms?
extramarital affairs, and the wives engaging in sexual activity all together.
Really? That really takes the fun out of polygamous marriages. No gangbangs and three times the nagging!!!!
What if there is only 1 wife ‘engaged’, one runs the video camera, and the other is on a KFC run?
LOL really hard. No my son that is what I call Heaven. and could you make a run to the QDC on the way back?
To you what isn’t?
I feel so sorry for people who have a misconception of islam.. its such a shame.. you my friend are missing out on an amazing life.
god bless
So ONLY muslims have an amazing life. OBL lived in a cave for years. Amazing.
Just like the malls on “family day”
If you go to an Islamic country – respect their rules. Period! Nothing to complain about or stay away. If you share a room – share it with your husband or wife or don’t share. That’s it.
Good people disobey bad rules. You sound like a stooge.
Thats not very “original thinking”
A provocation a day keeps the boredom away:-))
So how do the hookers at the Sheraton get around this then? It’s not libel if it’s true, go check out waterhole bar.
not only at the Sheraton, check the ones at the Intercon…..she’s waiting in the hall while her client checks in for her or both……..
Hmmm, in my day we used to wonder how the Qatari hookers at the Sharq dealt with their rooms. Whether they had weekly deals or what?
just follow the rules… its as simple as that… and the fact that her husband didn’t have documents or proof of marriage is surprising since it is known throughout the region that they need one.
Maybe he’s not from the region.
you dont have to be from the region to know about it but the fact that he was living here and didnt know about it is surprising.
You would think, but he might not have been here long and if other couples in his building haven’t been asked the same, he might really not have thought this rule would be enforced.
hahaha I hope not I don’t know about you…. but seriously you should respect the culture and the religion its unacceptable especially if its like one of those long hugs instead of the “hello” hug get it?? and if its your wife or daughter its more acceptable than a girlfriend or mistress ;))
So is there a time limit? Should I set the timer on my IPhone to go off after a certain “hug time”? If it’s my wife is the time longer than for my mistress? what if I hug my wife and they THINK she’s my mistress can I get the charge dismissed? Because surely the time involved hugging my wife versus my mistress is longer and we were victims of wife/mistress discrimination. Yes and we all have mistresses. You crack me up with your explanations.
dude dont complicate this.. we all know whats an awkward hug…
I’ve never had an awkward hug. Me like hugs.
hahaha! this really tickled me
Providing there is no grinding of hips or meeting of lips, what is wrong with a long hug? Sorry but, when I used to return from 6 month operational tours in the military I hugged my mum, dad, sisters, brothers like I didn’t want to let them go. Absolutely nothing wrong with a long hug, it gives a feeling of warmth, bonding and togetherness. Unless, of course, you have a dirty mind
when u hug a friend count to 1, 2 and that’s it! You will be fine ahahaha
how about males kissing in public?
Depends; are we talking simple kiss on the cheek, or lips locking? Any tongue action and how much? Where are their hands for the duration? Hard to rate, but anything above a 9 is great :p
Gak, tea, keyboard again. Ha!
Sadly, I’ve found that as I get older anything over about a 4 is great. My 9 years are well past…sniff.
What was it another guy posted…”rut like a dog”?
Bah, it is straight forward, those are the laws of the land, they are no violation of any rights, and as such should be obeyed.
The problem is the lack of publicity associated with those laws – that needs to be done much better, as well as how they are applied to various ethnicities and nationalities, which I have never seen done with anything approaching consistency anywhere.
The lack of skills of the enforcers is an issue also. In the past I have stayed with my wife in cheaper hotels in Dubai, which caused great problems as my wife is Filipino and I am a white guy, which immediately caused problems/suspicions when dealing with the South Asian clerks. Jumping to conclusions seemed to be part of the job description.
Having been warned of the Dubai state of affair, we had a copy of our marriage certificate, which of course the clerks were unable to read or determine the legitimacy of. Without evidence they decided that not only was my wife a prostitute, but also a forger. Would they have accused an Arab or caucasian woman of such things? I think not. Ah, so much fun.
I believe that the women mentioned in the article should have taken onus to familiarize themselves with the rules here before coming to see their husbands and made sure to have the required documents with them upon arrival. I *can* personally justify the implementation of the marriage certificate rule in regard to hotel visits – if *everyone* was being asked to provide proof of marriage. And they should be. It’s a good deterrent against infidelity… but at the same time, this country also immigrates a majority that come from countries where marriage is not a requirement for cohabitation or having kids, so it’s a catch 22.
I had a similar situation – but at Hamad Hospital when I went to emergency for treatment due to pregnancy problems…. they asked that we provide proof of marriage. Of course we’re married and had no issue with giving them a copy of our marriage certificate to keep on file for future reference, but it made me wonder if I would have received treatment had we not been married. If that would have been the case and I had been unwed and refused treatment – to me, that would have been an infringement on my basic human right to look out for the safety of myself and my unborn child.
I believe that some expats have come here for better job opportunities and have already conceived children out of wedlock prior to arrival. So in this instance, would they be expected to get married in order to be able to see a doctor? I understand that if you visit another country, you should ideally respect it’s rules but in this case I’d be inclined to think that this country needs to bend it’s rules a little bit for expats because we’re the ones that primarily stimulate their economy and we don’t live by the same standard that they do. We already embrace and respect that Muslims don’t drink alcohol or eat pork here and we respectfully observe their fasting routine during Ramadan by eating in private, along with other religious and governed implementations that go with living here. The reality of it all is that if you have foreigners coming to work, they do come with differing living situations and shouldn’t be denied certain rights just because they’re not married.
I find all of this idiotic. Honestly, do you think we go around with marriage certificate, I have the ring on my finger for that.
What if you tourists on a stop-over night in Doha (going with QA to other destination) cannot register at an hotel, even if they have been couple for a decade? Good that there are hotels that don’t ask for it. In Europe a couple is considered a couple de facto (at all effects) even if they are not married and they have children together. This over control is counterproductive, plus it seems like the Big Brother spying on you. Plus, if you want to deal with tourists you have to be flexible otherwise don’t make an effort to bring people here.
Evey action taken contradicts with a new one.
However all of this is super hypocritical.
Do you want to know where prostitutes go? Check the desert on the winter months where portal-cabins are placed. And there are not only prostitutes, there are also local girls who go there for their own pleasure.
I don’t wear a ring but I do have a thumb print firmly impressed into my skull 😉
hahaha me too
It’s that ball and chain trailing behind you thats the dead giveaway.
I like this thread. Has to be the first time that such a large response hasn’t descended into name calling etc. Well done people, maybe we have all grown up and learned to love each other (in a purely platonic and non sexual way you understand!) lol
Kiss me you fool.
You two go get a room!!!!!! Oh wait…… actually you can’t.
That would depend on which sex desert card is 🙂
While it happened in Dubai a friendly couple were arrested and deported for a friendly european style kiss at a restaurant there.
Just a thought. Alcohol is made available through QDC to non Muslims (as is Pork) for consumption in their private place of residence. It is also acceptable for alcohol to be served and consumed by non Muslims within licensed hotel establishments. What is the difference with that and allowing non Muslims to co-habit (in Private) or obtain a hotel room?
That’s a very good point actually.