As a mother, this is your reminder to not take every opinion as the truth.

Dear Mum,

No matter what you do and how well you do it, there will almost always be someone that will not be content with what you are doing and how well you have done it. Sometimes, a person will not be satisfied with you as a whole.

They will find reasons to criticise your words, actions, and reactions. You can take in their words, and then you will begin to find reasons to dislike yourself. You can also listen but recognise that what they think about you does not define who you are. It is a conscious choice that is sometimes difficult to make, but it is important to simply remember that you are worth more than unnecessary nitpicking and unfiltered opinions. 

A wise friend once said that the majority of people will immediately decide whether they like you or not, sometimes before even meeting you. Depending on the person, this opinion sometimes changes, and at times, it is solidified. This can be a good or bad thing depending upon how they feel about you.

Opinions are easy to develop. Afterall, an opinion is a non-conclusive judgment, perspective, or assertion. What an opinion is not, is facts. 

Read also: Dear mum, is your heart feeling heavy?

A person can label someone as nice, and as much of a compliment as it is, it would be an opinion. It could be a popular opinion that a large population uses to define that individual, but only the person being defined can decide if it is an actual fact.

Things that are ascribed, for example where you come from and your age, are the only things that people can define as a fact. Whether or not you are a good mum, if you’re raising your child according to their standards, and if the way you put your kids to sleep is correct- these are opinions. 

It is hard to not take in what others say about you. Criticism can feel very hurtful, it can make you feel down, and discourage you from trying. However, the energy that it takes others to share their unsolicited opinions is far less than the energy you consume as a result of their actions and words. 

It is important to remind yourself of who you are, the strides you make, and how far you have come. Nobody is born to be a professional as a mum, but the efforts that are made daily are valuable. Especially now dear mum, in a pandemic, the efforts are incredibly meaningful.

Remember, mum, you know yourself better than anyone else knows you. You are wonderful, inspiring, hardworking, and unique. What others say about you does not define the amazing individual that you knowingly are. 

Kind Regards,

Chereen

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