In May 2012, 19 people, including 29-year-old accountant Maribel Orosco, died in a fire at Villaggio Mall. Today, her husband will mark the third anniversary of her death. Here, Louie Aban shares with Doha News readers his concerns about being a single parent, and missing the love of his life.

My Dearest Wife,

It has almost been three years since that horrible tragedy happened. Three long years, but until now I can feel the pain and sorrow brought by your untimely death.

Until now, I can hear your voice as you screamed into my ear on the phone begging for help in your final moments. Until now, I can hear your difficult breathing and the agony with which you told me you were letting go.

And until now, I’m still fighting for the justice that you deserve and that is still being denied by those responsible for your demise.

Now that you’re gone, I can’t but keep myself company by remembering all the memories we shared together, from the first time I laid my eyes on you up to that very sad end.

How can I forget the sweet smile on your face and the happiness we felt on our wedding day?

Or the excitement and joy on the day that we became parents?

Our dreams and plans for the future; our carefree conversations and your relentless jokes; my longing for your tender embrace and your love all bring loneliness to my aching heart. They all make me miss you more and more every day of my life.

Now that I’m alone again, I don’t know how start a new chapter of my life and I’m afraid of what the future has in store for me and our son. All I know for the time being is that I need to be strong and carry on forward for him.

I know that someday he will long for you and will start asking questions about you just like I did to my father about my mother. He will undoubtedly feel the same thing I felt every time I saw my friends in the care and love of their mothers.

Soon, he will ask the same question as I did to myself: “What would be the feeling if my mother were still alive? How would my life be?”

It’s going to be hard and painful, but I promise you, I will be next to our son to tell him:

“Liam, your mummy will always be alive in your heart. She’s there, close to your heartbeat to keep you safe. Talk to her, she can hear you. And know that she answers back and you can tell what she’s saying if you listen tenderly and with the same love she has for you.”

I miss you so much; you are my life and my dream!

Love,
Honey

View the rest of the Letters to Heaven here.