Smartphones have become a growing source of tension in many marriages in Qatar, fueling miscommunication instead of facilitating it, the head of family reconciliations at the Family Consultancy Center (FCC) has said.
Speaking to Al Arab this week, Hassan Bin Salem Al Buraiki warned couples to watch out for “electronic infidelity.” Gulf News translates him as saying:
“Smartphones have become the means for illicit relations. We have seen numerous cases of divorce from the first night of the marriage because of the phones.”
He continued:
“The spouse discovers unwanted pictures of past relations on the spouse’s mobile and asks them to delete them. Arguments and fights ensue, followed by calls to get rid of the phone. However, some spouses refuse to change their mobiles and prefer to sacrifice their marriage instead.”
According to Al Buraiki, other major causes of divorce here include family interference and a lack of understanding of what marriage entails, especially among young people.
He added that couples must adapt to the changing times if they want to preserve their unions:
“It is highly inappropriate for a husband to treat his wife like his father treated his mother and for a woman to apply the way her parents lived. They must not be frozen in a traditional mould.”
Counseling
To help tackle problems – and head them off at the pass – Al Buraiki strongly recommended that couples seek pre-marital counseling.
Earlier this year, a senior family counselor at the FCC echoed the necessity of getting professional help during rocky times.
Speaking to Doha News in March, Hadia Baker said that issues such as infidelity, financial problems, over-involved parents and partners who are insensitive to the needs of their spouse are all major causes of divorce here.
Among expats, there’s also the added stress of feeling isolated, far away from home and their support network of friends and families, she said.
However, Baker added that counseling can go a long way in helping a marriage, but only if professional intervention is sought early enough.
“Do not come when it’s too late,” she said.
Thoughts?
Technology is just a tool, and can be used for either good or bad.
Calling this electronic infidelity is basically blaming the technology, rather than blaming humans.
Infidelity is infidelity, whether it is via a mobiIe phone or a carrier pigeon.
I think the point being made is that the mobile phone just makes infidelity a whole lot easier from a communication point of view, and that it’s used by many as a store of old memories they don’t want to lose. It just goes pear shaped if the wrong person gets to knows what’s on it.
“It is highly inappropriate for a husband to treat his wife like his father treated his mother and for a woman to apply the way her parents lived. They must not be frozen in a traditional mould.”
What a sensible thing to say. Things change, people change, culture changes, adherence to religion changes. Learn to adapt.
Look who’s talking a bloody racist.
It seems you are obsessed with me. That’s not healthy.
Tsk Tsk – MIMH, I did not realize you were a racist. I am flabbergasted! I shall now find some sand and bury my head in it. How dare you display any hint of racism in a region where there is no racial discrimination whatsoever?
It’s funny getting called a racist in a post that has nothing to do with race and no race is mentioned. I guess he secretly loves me.
“However, some spouses refuse to change their mobiles and prefer to sacrifice their marriage instead.” Not much of a marriage if the spouse is seen as having less value than the phone and it’s content.
This is a serious issue requiring sober minds of all involved.
It may be also due to opposite mind set of both men and women. More like oil and water. Difficult to mix.
The solution could be found in what Islam advises and practicing humility. Look at life in less materialistic and more human perspective.
Supporting the statement with a statistics could have made the point stronger or more believable. Orherwise it is but a staement of somebody who does not see the larger importance of technology in a fast changing world.
“It is highly inappropriate for a husband to treat his wife like his father treated his mother”…..I feel like this statement suggests, by default, that the father treats the mother badly. What if the father is loving and caring, opens the door for women, carries the groceries, helps out with the kids, house chores and in general is a nice example to follow? I guess infidelity is easy with apps like tinder, badoo and the ample supply of chatrooms
“The spouse discovers unwanted pictures of past relations on the spouse’s mobile and asks them to delete them. Arguments and fights ensue, followed by calls to get rid of the phone. However, some spouses refuse to change their mobiles and prefer to sacrifice their marriage instead.” Hahahahaha – Seriously? So they just don’t want to bother deleting photos/messages of old flames? How lazy can you get? Clearly they have commitment issues in the first place and I assume most of those marriages are arranged.
It’s not really considered infidelity if the s/o is no longer with the person, they may just be friends following a past breakup, and its unfair to ask the other person to delete a friend off their phone.
I’ll bet some of these past flames are continuing flames which ofcourse the spouse would deny and say they are old photos.
It is easier to cheat nowadays with technology but also easier to get caught.