From the very beginning, Maria knew her daughter was different, unique, and special. Sofiya was smart, curious, funny, yet noticeably unlike many of the children around her. Seeking to better understand her daughter’s behaviour, Maria turned to professionals. What she learned transformed the way she saw Sofiya.
“I open my laptop to do something, then I go to the kitchen for something else, and then I remember I need to go to the toilet, and then… I just never finish anything.” That’s how ADHD 12-year-old Sofiya, a pseudonym used to protect her privacy, describes living with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).
She was diagnosed at the age of seven.
“I just don’t like doing things that are boring. Sometimes I grant myself a reward to find motivation. For example, I will do five minutes of math homework, and then I will draw for thirty minutes,” Sofiya told Doha News.
By age 12, she understands that needing extra motivation for daily tasks isn’t just a passing mood; it’s part of her personality, shaped by a neurodevelopmental condition that affects attention, hyperactivity, and impulse control.
But it wasn’t always easy. While her early years were filled with precious memories, parenting Sofiya came with significant challenges. Even simple routines could trigger defiance and impulsiveness, recalls her mother, Maria.
“She could only do what was pleasurable to her, avoiding completely ‘boring’ chores,” Maria adds. “She [wouldn’t] listen or follow instructions. It was impossible to convince her to draw on paper instead of the wall.”
From the very beginning, Maria knew her daughter was different, unique, and special. Sofiya was smart, curious, funny, and kind, yet noticeably unlike many of the children around her. At home, Maria’s patience preserved a sense of peace. At school, however, that understanding was missing.
Sofiya’s habit of taking other children’s belongings was met with judgment rather than empathy.
“The teachers didn’t rethink their [perception] but labelled her and often shamed her for her behaviour. I remember a teacher in year 1 taking [Sofiya] to the principal and being warned that next time she [would] be expelled.”
After years of navigating the same challenges, Maria sought answers. She had Sofiya tested using the WISC assessment, which evaluates children’s cognitive abilities, including verbal comprehension, visual-spatial skills, fluid reasoning, working memory, and processing speed. The results revealed a high IQ, but also highlighted areas of cognitive difficulty, reflecting the impact of her ADHD.
The hardest part came next: explaining to seven-year-old Sofiya that her brain works a little differently.
Understanding Sofiya’s world: What happens inside the ADHD mind?
To better understand Sofiya’s behaviour, her mother sought help from professionals. What she learned changed how she perceived her daughter.
“Children with ADHD often have brains that develop a little differently,” explains Dr. Adrienne Robek, Clinical Director of the Jumpstart Center, licensed psychologist, and Doctoral Level Board Certified Behaviour Analyst (BCBA-D).
“The frontal lobe, the area responsible for attention, planning, and impulse control, tends to mature more slowly than in children without ADHD,” she says.
ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects attention, activity levels, and impulse control. It’s far from a child being lazy or defiant, Dr. Robek says. “It’s about how their brain is wired. They see and process the world differently.”
She explains that brain imaging studies reveal differences in regions tied to emotional response and self-regulation.
Some children with ADHD may not produce enough dopamine, or their brains may struggle to use it efficiently. “That’s why stimulant medications can be effective; they help balance dopamine levels, making focus and self-control a bit easier,” she adds.
Spotting ADHD symptoms
ADHD symptoms often emerge early, sometimes as young as preschool age, but are typically diagnosed at six years or older.
“We look for signs like hyperactivity, short attention span, and impulsivity,” says Dr. Robek. “These behaviours must last at least six months and appear in more than one setting, like home and school, to meet the criteria for diagnosis.”
“Many children with ADHD are very bright,” Dr. Robek says. “But they might struggle with working memory, the part of the brain that holds information long enough to use it.”
That’s why, she explains, you can tell a child something, and a minute later it’s gone —it’s not disobedience, it’s neurology.
Predictability matters for children with ADHD
ADHD doesn’t just affect focus; It deeply shapes how children feel and interact. Emotional regulation is one of the most overlooked aspects.
“These children can feel emotions more intensely, excitement, frustration, disappointment. They react faster, and those reactions can seem bigger than the situation,” Dr. Robek explains.
That emotional intensity, combined with frequent correction or misunderstanding, can take a toll on self-esteem.
“If a child learns from a young age how their brain works, they can manage their emotions better and avoid believing something is ‘wrong’ with them.”
Predictability plays a key role. A consistent routine reduces conflict and helps children feel secure. “Parents can also use reward systems, for example, earning screen time after completing tasks, instead of giving it freely,” Dr. Robek explains.
Breaking tasks into smaller pieces is also crucial. “Instead of asking a child to finish five math worksheets in one go, ask them to do one, take a short break, and then continue,” She suggests, to help them stay motivated and reduce overwhelm.
School environments can be challenging for children like Sofiya, but small adjustments make a big difference. Teachers can support students by offering short, frequent rewards or allowing the child to hold a fidget toy. “Some kids need quick feedback, more movement breaks, or even extra time to finish assignments,” says Dr. Robek.
The goal, she explains, is not to change who the child is, but to create an environment where they can thrive. Every strategy must be personalised, because what works for one child may not work for another.
Parenting children with ADHD
“For years, I struggled with guilt and fear of failure about her upbringing,” admits Maria, Sofiya’s mother. “I constantly wondered if I was doing enough, if I was handling her differently from other children.”
The diagnosis shifted her approach to parenting, offering her clarity and compassion. “Once we knew for sure, I could help her feel understood and also guide her teachers, so they could see past the stereotypes about ADHD,” she says.
As Dr. Robek notes, “Children with ADHD benefit greatly from supportive routines and guidance that celebrate effort over perfection.”
When parents embrace their child’s differences, it gives the child confidence and helps them navigate life’s challenges better.
Reflecting on the journey, Maria says, “Parenting a child with ADHD isn’t about correcting every behaviour, it’s about patience, empathy, and learning alongside her. Embracing her differences, rather than fearing them, is the greatest gift I can give her.”
